I’ve been very selfish. I never thought I’d be one of those girls who tries to make a boy love her again. I never thought I’d be the one who couldn’t take a hint. I never thought I’d be fighting the urge to beg for someone back. Now I find myself sitting here wondering why I can’t figure out why you changed your mind.
I go over all the things I did wrong. I psychoanalyze myself to death. I blame myself and tell myself how awful I was.
I try to find some sort of logic in a situation that is pure chaos. Logic is my enemy, it tells me things I don’t want to hear. Maybe I’m just waiting for some sort of apology, I’ve done all the apologizing. I can’t help but to think “but I never claimed to be perfect.”
I find myself feeling somewhat greatful for this experience. I have been forced to look at myself and my actions, forced to mature. I have grown up so much in the past year. It astounds me.
Sometimes I just want to say ” nevermind, forget it. I was wrong about every single thing”
I’ll cut my losses and walk away with my knowledge and without your affection.
I never thought this would be our ending. I guess that was our biggest downfall though. We felt invincible. I always had some sort of cynical grasp on the idea if our failure. But, sometimes I think you had too much faith in me.
